Friendship is Built on Quality Shenanigans

It’s the 21st of September 2023. Motion was hosting a freshers’ venue, and I was ready to get my first clubbing experience after a very disappointing denial to entry from the SWX security on the 18th (I guess they just couldn’t read the Arabic numbers on my ‘invalid’ international ID). I wanted to get the full clubbing experience, so I sought out advice from some fellow seasoned clubbers. Looking back, ‘the right amount of alcohol’ was a smidge too subjective as a piece of advice, and even though I’m not a seasoned clubber, I was what you call a seasoned alcoholic. When I drink with the intention of getting drunk, you better bet that when I pull up to Pres at 10:30pm, I have a bottle of Absolut in one hand, a crate of Budweiser in the other, no mixer and my last meal was breakfast.

Fast forward to midnight, I didn’t get into the venue at Motion. And no, before you start assuming that I was too drunk, I was refused entry because, apparently, my name wasn’t on their system, even though I had my ticket on my phone. After much resistance from me as I rallied up a rebellion at the doors of Motion (I just said ‘that’s weird, have a good night’ to the security), I started to walk back by myself.

Conveniently, it was at this point, when I had embarked on the 30min hike back to my new accommodation, that the vodka and beer hit me all at once. The roads ahead began to swirl and spin as they blurred into a few tones of grey and black. Naturally, I started cackling, for no particular reason.

Somehow, I knew I was too drunk to make it back on my own, so I started conversations with random groups of freshers in hopes that they were walking towards the direction of my accommodation. After talking to a few groups of people, I eventually found myself in an Arcade bar, ‘NQ64’, where, with my new group, I had three pints of Asahi. We drank, we laughed, we played videos games. Eventually, I made it back to the accommodation by myself. As I crashed onto my mattress, I took a final look at my phone, that 30min journey took me nearly 4 hours to complete.

What a wild night that was, full of really stupid ideas, and great memories (yes, I didn’t black out surprisingly). That night, I had a total of six pints of beer and five triple shots of vodka (for the rest of the world, one pint is 568ml). I woke up the next morning (or shall I say, the same morning J) with a brand-new experience, a hangover. I puked six times before 10am, then made my way to Freshers Fair with the fattest headache known to man.

Here's another story involving alcohol, this happened a few weeks ago. Rushing through the doors of Steam, I had just returned from London. Arriving an hour late to Monopoly Dares means no starting money and punishments. However, since I was new to Boxing society, I wasn’t punished (‘punished’ is a slightly sussy word I know). The rules of Monopoly Dares are simple:

- Do dares for monopoly money.

- More daring the dare = more money.

- Whoever’s richest at the end of the night, wins a prize.

Starting off broke, I was eager to trade my dignity for fake money. That is when my captain offered a deal I couldn’t refuse, “down your pint, and I’ll give you this 20”. And so, the night begins, 20 seconds in and 20 pounds richer. Now, if you’re playing this with your friends, here’s a tip coming from a seasoned pro: don’t drink a pitcher (6 pints or 3.4L of beer) for 20 pounds, it ain’t worth it. You want to get richer while retaining as much of your ego as possible, not tactical chunning 30 mins into the night.

You know what, I’m setting you some homework this week. This week, or when appropriate, I want you to go out and make some memories. Think of some wild shenanigans (in terms of alcohol) you and your friends could commit (legal ones please, arson is not condoned in the community). Convince your friends to bring a spirit of choice to your most boring lectures and make a rule to drink (e.g. every time your lecturer says a certain word). Go on a pub crawl with your friends and play monopoly dares throughout the night. Do a Ten Before Ten (Rules: drink ten pints of beer/cider, with at least 4.5%, between 8pm and 10pm, tactical chunders are not allowed, designated drivers are recommended).

Remember folks:

1. Friendship is built on quality shenanigans.

2. Bad Ideas make great memories (within reason, don’t burn down Brass Pig)